Failure Doesn’t Make You a Failure
No one succeeds at everything they do. We all fail, more than once, throughout our lives, yet our lives often continue largely unchanged. Failing at one thing, or even many things, doesn’t make you a failure at life. It obviously feels better to be successful, but you can only become a failure by believing that you’re a failure, and as a result, acting that way.
So you didn’t get the big sale that would have earned you that bonus. You struck out, and the other team won the championship. You put your all into running for the school board and lost the election. Nobody is perfect. One side has to lose in a game, and often more than one person loses in an election. And you can’t control the way others think, willing them to do what’s best for you. Success is never a sure thing, no matter how hard you try.
When you fail, accept what has happened. Then look around and see that your world hasn’t come to an end as a result of whatever happened. Don’t hold onto the negative emotion brought on by failure. It will eventually devour your self-esteem.
Learn to promote the best in yourself. Never apologize for not being good enough. You are a person with value, just like anybody else. And don’t let your failures rule your feelings. Concentrate on your successes and you can give your self-esteem a deserved lift.
Let go of negativity while acknowledging that it is bound to crop up again. The only way to defeat your failures is to keep going, blocking them from damaging your self-esteem. Learn to be resilient against feelings of failures. The next time, and the next time, it will be that much easier to just pull up your socks, shake off the bad mojo, and keep going.
You Can’t Prevent All Failures
There’s nothing that you can do to completely prevent failure. Accidents, for example, are purely out of your control. You cannot let yourself own the failures that occur due to accidents; there is simply no way to prevent them. And like, accidents, mistakes are things that just happen sometimes, no matter how much you prepare.
The important thing to remember is that you are the only one who can keep yourself from feeling like a failure. Others may try to sabotage you by telling you that you are a failure, but unless you let yourself believe it, you can overcome adversity with your self-esteem intact.
Keep Getting Up
Failures are hurdles in life, not roadblocks. If you get knocked down by a failure in your life, the best thing you can do to preserve your self-esteem, is to get back up again. Don’t get discouraged or beat yourself up. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Failure doesn’t make you a failure.
Failing is a hard way to learn, but it makes you aware of what doesn’t work, and can guide you toward making different, more successful decisions in the future. It is good mental health to learn to gain the capacity to thrive in the face of adversity, and is the only way to overcome your failures.