Bullies and How to Deal with Them
Bullying is never okay.
It makes you feel angry, afraid, or depressed and can have devastating long-term effects. Bullying is a big deal and can lead to a life filled with depression and anxiety, for both the victim and the bully.
Sometimes being bullied is out of your control. When this happens, make sure you handle the situation the best way possible.
Here are best ways to deal with a bully.
Ignore the Bully
When a person bullies another person, he or she’s looking to control the victim. Bullies want to gain a response, whether that response is for you to cry or give up your lunch money, they want to control what you do. So don’t let them. When you ignore a bully, you’re not giving up your power and demonstrating that it’s not impacting you, even if it is. While this may not be the best strategy in some circumstances, if the bullying is temporary, it may be the quickest way for it to end. If a bully realizes you’re not going to give the desired response, the bully will stop trying and find another victim.
Tell Someone You Trust
Bullying is always an inappropriate behavior, one that is against the rules in both schools and workplaces. Get over the fear of tattling, and use the policies that exist to get help. Chances are if someone is bullying you, you’re not the only victim.
Avoid the Avoidable
When you can avoid a bully, do so. When there are things within your control, such as the way you walk home from school or where you sit on the bus, change them to avoid the conflict. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re being bullied, just walk away when you can. You can’t control what a bully will do, but you can remove yourself from the situation.
One effective way to deal with a bully is to be confident. Hold your head up high, stand tall, and look the bully in the eye. Don’t act afraid, even if you are. Instead, act brave. Act like you don’t care and what the bully says doesn’t matter — because it doesn’t. The bully’s opinion of you does not make you a lesser person or weak. Chances are when you act calm and confident, a bully will soon realize you’re not going to give up your control and will leave you alone.
Find a Support Buddy
Bullies are more likely to pick on you if you’re alone. Find a friend you trust and explain what’s happening and ask for help. Sometimes just knowing someone is standing beside you gives you the confidence to stand up to a bully and tell him or her that what he or she is doing is not okay, and you’re not going to put up with it.
Bullies are bullies for a reason and often that reason’s because they’ve been bullied in the past. That doesn’t make the behavior okay, but when you understand the reason behind the bullying, it may change your approach to the bully. Instead of getting mad or trying to fight back, approach the bully with kindness. Give the bully a pull-up, instead of a put-down, by saying something like, “You’re better than this,” and walking away.
The best way to deal with a bully is to love yourself. Know that you have worth regardless of what a bully says. When you look and feel your best, it’s easier not to take what a bully says to heart and know it doesn’t matter.