Love Yourself: Tips for Unconditional Self-Love
What is unconditional love? Unconditional love means just that — there are no conditions under which a person will stop loving another. Someone could get addicted to drugs, be abusive to others, maybe even go to jail for murder, and someone who has unconditional love for that person may not approve of, or condone, such behavior, but they will love that individual despite such negative behavior.
Self-love needs to be unconditional. You need to be able to love yourself despite anything you do. You may know it was wrong or not realize it at all, but whatever you do, you need to know that there is always at least one person in your corner who is going to help you see any situation through, without judgment, and that person is you.
Getting to Unconditional
So how do you get to that level of self-love? Following are a few tips you can practice now so that you can master them for optimal self-love, especially when the going gets a little rough:
- Focus on you. Practice putting yourself first when something needs doing. Hone in on how your method will best benefit you. Let any others who are involved in the task take care of themselves. Before you are really able to help others, you need to know how to be able to help, care for, and love, yourself. When you feel good about yourself, then you are able to use that feeling to help others. But first, put yourself first.
- Learn to say “No.” Chances are you are a people pleaser. You go out of your way to make sure others are happy before you take care of yourself. This validates your self-worth, but at a cost. When you end up saying yes to every favor that is asked of you, you often find yourself overwhelmed with completing others’ tasks, on time, for fear of not pleasing them. This leaves you with little to no time to please yourself and ultimately undoes the validation you are seeking from others.
- Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. Whether big or small, you need to practice forgiving yourself for the mistakes you make, or no one else will. If you are constantly saying, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you are going to project an image to others that your mistakes are who you are, as well as internalizing those negative feelings, making you feel worse — not better — about who you are.
- Give yourself credit. Give yourself credit for the positive things you do every day, as there are always more of them than you realize, or let yourself believe. And you definitely achieve more positive things in a day than whatever mistakes, if any, you make. You deserve that credit, and with time will learn to believe in your heart that is true. This is a key step in achieving unconditional self-love.
Fight Negative Feelings
Uncomfortable feelings about yourself are bound to occur in certain situations. These are exactly the situations where you need to identify what value is missing in what you’ve said or done. Don’t unjustly punish yourself for something that you think you’ve done wrong. Figure out a way to find the value in yourself for what has happened. It is always there.
Everyone needs a strong sense of self-love and everyone needs to work on it every day. Today, do yourself a favor and start with yourself.