Is Loving is a Choice? Is Loving Kids a Choice?
Most feelings are not a choice. Love is one of those feelings. Love for your children, in particular, seems to be almost an instinct for the child’s survival. An instant bond between parent and child is created from the minute a child is born. New parents are constantly anxious that they are not doing enough to provide the love and care for their newborn. There seems to be nothing they wouldn’t do for their child.
Children seem to create love among others around them, just by being. Those who have them are intrinsically attached to them. Those who do not have children are often infatuated by interacting with children. Children seem to provide a certain positive feeling, a feeling which many people are missing in their lives. By showing them your love, and having them accept it, they are somehow validating something that may be missing in your own life.
Is Love Part of Our DNA?
Perhaps love is an intrinsic part of our DNA, where our body chemistries take over and we seem to lose control over those intimate feelings, whether they be for a child or a romantic interest. Certain people are just drawn to each other, and neither can completely explain why.
But you can’t always trust your emotions. When a relationship turns out to be an unhealthy one, and even then you can’t pull yourself away, it’s time to get help. Making excuses for someone who is verbally or physically abusing you, yet still you stay because you can’t let go of your initial attraction, is not the way to live. This is when you need to learn to make a choice about your feelings of love, however hard.
Reality Needs to Play a Role in Love
Reality needs to have a role in your emotions, as with love not being a choice, we can get ourselves into sticky situations. Some people will notice your attraction to them and then use it to take advantage of you for money or favors.
When these things seem to be happening, stop. Think twice about your relationship with this person and ask for help if you don’t think you can pull yourself away from the situation. It can only lead to you feeling unhappy with yourself because you don’t feel strong enough to pull away; in fact, it is the love you feel for that person that is making it so difficult to distance yourself from them. Good or bad, sometimes you just want a certain person in your life.
Children Need to Feel Your Unconditional Love
Getting back to loving children, it is crucial to show them your unconditional love for them, even when they misbehave. It is completely proper to set boundaries that cannot be crossed without consequences, but you don’t need to punish your child when they stray from acceptable behavior. Learn to accept their feelings in a certain situation where you may not be pleased. And once again, you need to make sure that your child feels your unconditional love, even when their behavior needs to be corrected.
When it comes to love, many times, things can be improved upon. Dealing with the past unpleasantries of a present lover can cause pressure in a relationship, but it also can be discussed so that the topic can be managed, if not eliminated.
With children, unconditional is the buzzword. If you show them the unconditional love that you feel for them, they will develop a stronger sense of self and be able to form loving relationships in the future.
