Being Single — The Emotional Pros and Cons
Being single definitely has its advantages, but when you are single, you also become aware of the negative side, which brings with it feelings that can make you doubt your self-worth and self-esteem. When you are single and don’t want to be, you may start to question your appeal to others and wonder if you’ll ever be in a relationship again. Improving your self-esteem can help you learn to balance the pros and cons of being single, and to be happy with who you are despite your relationship status.
Pros of Being Single
There are many pros to being single, most of all, having the independence to do anything you want, whenever you want. These are the types of things that can make you feel good about yourself, and helps you have a more positive outlook on life. Some other benefits include:
- Being able to date, or not, with no consequences either way
- Your actions not having a direct effect on anybody else but you
- Being able to focus on your career to improve your position at work, by being able to work late on a moment’s notice, or work through the weekend, for example
- Not having to answer to anyone about what your plans are, where you have been or why you didn’t call, for example
- No dealing with the drama that can occur again and again when you are in a committed relationship
- Not having to compromise on what you are going to do, and with whom. There is no one to object
- Having more money to spend because your disposable income is not being consumed by two people
- Not having to look “just so” for a partner, when what you need is some downtime and a comfy pair of sweatpants
Cons of Being Single
Then there are the cons to being single. These are the circumstances that can take repeated hits at your self-esteem and make you feel that maybe you don’t deserve a partner, even if you aren’t currently in the market for a relationship. Some cons to single life may include:
- Feeling lonely
- Missing the romance or intimacy that comes along with being in a relationship
- Not caring about your appearance or behavior and, sliding into bad habits that you might otherwise avoid, such as dressing down all the time or eating your meals at the kitchen sink.
- Having no one to help you with children, if you are a single parent. You have to shoulder all the responsibilities of caring for your children by yourself, every single day.
- Handling the negative feelings that come at you when people ask why you are single, or worse yet, why you are still single
Why Be Single?
Sometimes people choose to be single to take advantage of the positive aspects, such as independence or being able to date when and whom they want. This isn’t always the best course of action if a decision is being based on external benefits. Eventually the cons will begin to seep into your psyche, making you doubt your decision, and then, yourself.
Whether single or not, the best relationship you can have is with yourself. Making sure that that relationship is healthy, by working on keeping up your self-esteem and self-worth, can help you make the decisions about being single, and what comes with it, that are right for you.