Unlocking Social Norms via Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem exists in us all to some degree. Everyone is born with a healthy self-esteem, but as we progress through childhood, we eventually develop low self-esteem by internalizing the negative feelings we have when our needs are not met. Then we learn to improve it by seeking the approval of our parents or others; by their approval, we feel validated, and our self-esteem improves.
When, as adults, we have not yet learned any alternatives to building our self-esteem, we begin to shut ourselves off from things that are considered social norms, such as attending and enjoying public gatherings. The key to accessing these social norms that we are cutting off in our lives is to learn how to build our low self-esteem back to a point where we feel worthwhile in life.
Self-Esteem Comes from Within
The desire to build your self-esteem needs to come from within. Once that desire is in place, the ability to unlock the social norms you seek becomes limitless. A positive self-esteem can be restored, as soon as you accept that it is possible to do so.
You chose to process the ways you currently deal with the negative situations in your life. You also can choose to change those methods and unlearn the harmful techniques that have caused your self-esteem to plummet, thus preventing you from enjoying the things in life that you crave. You possess a natural power to heal yourself. You just need to find the ways to tap into that power and start the healing process.
Trust others to help you through the process. For years, you have been taking any negative comments that come your way and internalizing or owning them, as if you caused some negative consequences in the world because of what someone said to you. Those very people also may be having self-esteem problems, and by letting them into your healing process, you may very well be helping them to heal as well. This action in itself can be a first step in the right direction towards feeling better about yourself.
It will not happen overnight, as it did not happen overnight to get where you are now, but with the help of others, it can progress much more quickly. Additionally, it may surprise you that the very people who (unknowingly) contributed to the demise of your self-esteem will be more than willing to help you undo your predicament. Find people who you trust, and instead of hiding, allow them into your life.
Deflect Your Fears
The more you trust others, the easier it will be to face the fears in your life. Once you determine that many of those fears are perceived and not real, you will be able deflect those fears. The more fears you face, the more you will discover that many of them are not yours to battle. Slowly, the world will become a less fearsome place. Relationships and jobs will not cause such anxiety, and a general sense of contentment will return to your life.
It is at this point that you hold the key to unlock the social activities that have been exceptions, rather than norms, for you until now. With the restoration of your self-esteem, you can now re-join the world that you had withdrawn from because you now realize that you are a worthwhile individual, and deserve to enjoy all that is out there for everyone, including you.