Who’s Responsible For My Depression Anyway?

In an intriguing story in the Monday’s National Post (Canada), a nameless husband in Umbria, Italy is suing his wife’s lover for $785,000 for causing him depression.

Being cuckolded is surely very painful and distressing. Even without knowing the details and reasons, my heart goes out to the unfortunate man. What is arresting about this particular variation of this common theme is that the cuckolded man is suing his rival for causing him depression, not for alienating his wife’s affections, but for causing him depression.

This raises the important question of who is in charge of and responsible for his emotions? Is it he, or a stranger, in this case a stranger who causes him grief? His clear answer is that it is not he, but rather someone else who controls his emotions.

The reality is that we have no objections when someone else controls our emotions in a beneficent way. Problems inevitably arise when the someone else who controls our emotions does so in a negative or uncaring way, then we get hurt.  And there’s not much we can do to make the other person behave and treat us in ways that we want to be treated.

This story really highlights the problems and dangers of leaving our emotional well-being in the hands of others, and makes the case for learning to become the person, and the only person, responsible for our emotions.

Read more about how to do this in the rest of this web site.

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